Losing You Is Killing Me
by Kate Has The Wings
Summary: Bakura takes Ryou for granted, so when something life-changing happens, and Ryou might g away forever, how does Bakura react?
1. Default Chapter

Ryou lay on his bed, his white hair splayed across the blood stained pillows, he closed his eyes, and thought simply of what was coming to him. Bakura had just come home, you could tell because he had slammed the door, and a string of loud profanities rang through the apartment they shared privately. Bakura must've had a bad day. Ryou knew that was never good.

"Ryou." Bakura greeted, rather grunted, as he entered the bedroom.

Bakura removed his socks and shoes, not nessacarily in that order, he threw off his shirt, and took off his pants. Ryou tried to keep a moan with in the confines of his body. Bakura was gorgeous. Bakura wore pink boxers, with fuzzy demonic bunnies on them, in which he'd gotten from the store called Kyko Drives the Bus to Hell. Bakura loved that store very much, and worked there while he himself was at school.

Bakura walked out of the room and into the bathroom, Ryou could tell he turned on the light, because the vent went on. Ryou knew Bakura's bathroom Routine by heart. First a shower, or a bath with bubbles that smelled like vanilla, then he'd dry his hair, brush his teeth, take a piss, brush his hair through once more, and maybe, he'd even forget to get dressed, and walk in the bedroom naked. Bakura became loopy after 7, and after 8 he became sadistic.

Ryou looked to the clock... 8:51. Ryou prayed to god Bakura hadn't made his way to the kitchen before going to the bedroom. Bakura slammed the fridge door shut. Oh shit.... Ryou was in for quite a night of 'releaving Bakura's Stress'. Ryou felt the scars along his abdomen, and let a moan of dispair out of his lips, and decided to leave the bedroom for now. He'd put it off as long as possible.

"So, how's Kyko?" Ryou sat on a chair in the kitchen/dining room, and smiled sweetly at Bakura.

Bakura chuckled "Kyko is a sassy, melodramatic, sadistical whore, and I love her."

"She sent someone to hell again didn't she?" Ryou chuckled.

"Yes, but only one, and Jou made her put the girl back in her body before he left work at 5." Bakura sighed, and stuck a spoonful of peanut butter in his mouth. "She's not very happy right now."

"You didn't bite her ankle again did you?" Ryou asked.

"No, not her ankle. Her hand." Bakura reassured.

Bakura put the peanut butter away, and walked towards Ryou, who just noticed he infact DID forget the clothing again. Bakura stopped at a drawer, and took out his trusty 14" long knife out. Bakura smiled at Ryou like a child who knew he did wrong, but was still proud of himself in the long run.

"You've put it off long enough, get in the bedroom." Bakura ordered.

Ryou hung his head, but stood, and headed to the bedroom. Bakura followed laughing shortly before he forced Ryou to disrobe, and bare himself to the critical eyes of Bakura. Ryou stood under the gaze of Bakura, ashamed of his scars, and his bruises. Bakura looked on, smiling triumphantly, before putting the knife down a moment to inspect the scars closer. Bakura kneeled, his face at Ryou's abdomen.

Bakura fingered the scars one by one, whispering the dates they happened, by heart I may mention. Bakura looked at the new ones, and couldn't resist but kiss the skin that bore such gorgeous scars. Bakura smirked into the skin, and stood slowly. Ryou was crying silently, obviously very ashamed of the scarring. Bakura couldn't see why, they just made Ryou more beautiful than he already was, which was very hard to do.

"You've never been more beautiful." Bakura assured as he slowly picked up his knife.

"Do you have to use the knife?" Ryou asked in no more than a hushed whisper.

"Let me use it, and I'll make you scream my name after." Bakura smirked as Ryou tensed, and blushed. "Not that you have much of a choice in the matter, mind you. Be cooperative tonight Ryou, I hate hurting you more than I have to. Be cooperative, and I'll make you sing."

Bakura made Ryou lay on the white carpeted floor. Ryou sucked in his breath, ready any second for the inevitable pain of a knife baring itself down into his skin. Then it came, on his inner thigh, slowly, dangerously slow, downwards it went almost to his knee. Ryou let the tears out, not fighting like he normally did. The knife ran itself down his left arm, just unil the elbow, where he stopped, and headed for the lower abdomen. Ryou bled onto the white floor, his lower stomach bleeding the most.

Bakura lay the bloody knife down, and lapped at the blood. Bakura moaned in pleasure, there was no better and more arousing thing than blood. It was true for him, and only Ryou's blood would do. Bakura quickly became aroused. It was hard not to do, seeing Ryou's blood coat him, seeing the blood in his hair, like a checkered picnic blanket, seeing those tears run down and mix with the blood on the floor. Seeing Ryou in a puddle of his own blood, slowly leaking out of him, and him begin to look flushed, and then pale, and then flushed again. It was almost too much.

Ryou was hating this very, very much. He wanted to stop the pain, he wante to go bandage himself up, and clean the wounds, and make sure he was alright, and that Bakura's knife never touched him again. Ryou wanted so badly to give it all to Bakura, to take the knife and slit his wrists, that way Bakura could have all of his blood, so the pain would cecede to a dull nothingness.

Ryou reached for the knife, Bakura not noticing as he dragged it along his right wrist, and then his left. Ryou didn't care any longer, the pain would leave him soon, and that meant Bakura would leave him as well. Don't be swayed, Ryou lvoed Bakura to high dawn, but right at that instant, Ryou hated himself. Hated himself for giving in to it. Giving in to the pain, giving into Bakura.

Within a minute, everything began to go fuzzy, and Ryou sighed deeply. The end was coming, and he was going, and Bakura was passing him by. How Ryou didn't cry at that instant surprised even him. Bakura looked up, noticig there was too much blood. Ryou neverbled that much, and he made sure not to cut over any vital veins, Bakura knew better than that.

Then it hit Bakura hard, the knife lay on Ryou's chest, and blood flowed from his wrists. Bakura didn't even think for more than a second before grabbing the sheets from the bed, and applying pressure to the cuts on the wrists. He elavated Ryou's feet, and kept Ryou Breathing, Ryou stopped bleeding after a few minutes, but Ryou had lost alot of blood. Too much for even Bakura's liking. Bakura ran to get the First Aid kit, and bandaged Ryou to the best of his ability, which was very good.

Bakura took a course in anatomy once, which included veins, and he took a few First Aid classes which helped alot in this instance. Bakura moved Ryou to the bed, and covered him up, and lay next to him, holding Ryou in his arms tightly. Ryou lost so much blood... It hit Bakura even harder then, Ryou might not live...

Bakura let the tears out. He hadn't meant to drive his beautiful angel to such extents of anger and self-loathing. Bakura knew he wouldn't be able to make it without Ryou. Bakura normally was confidant and an Egotistical jerk, but only because he Had Ryou. Without Ryou, would he be able to make a sandwich?

Bakura began to break down then, and he cried himself into a restless sleep.

Kitty-Wings: Shall I continue? Do you like the description I'm adding, the one's people have complained about me leaving out? Do you like it? Does it make sense? I'm STARVING for feedback here! Feed me!


	2. new chappie

Please, let him wake up. Don't leave me alone! I need him so much, and there he lay, slowly exiting my world, and entering another one, the one I SHOULD be in by now. But no.

There he lays, slowly breathing in from those perfect lips, and exhaling shakily. He had been crying in his sleep damnit! He had begged me to stop, or the dream me, anyhow. Now that I see this from a different position in life, it shocks me how much I really hurt him with those scars I give him. Please, let my angel wake up.

I haven't left his side for a single moment. It's been three days, I haven't gotten up to eat, or use the bathroom, and I'm sure as hell not leaving his side for the doorbell. He seems more peaceful, like he's just sleeping, and not in a coma.

Then as if it had been spelled out in the stars, I headed to the soul room where the living him resided, the one I could still talk to, and love, and hold, and make it all better.

"Ryou?" I asked, and hugged him tightly, and warmly.

"Wh-What are you doing?!" Ryou backed away from me and checked me for a fever.

"Hugging you, love." I smiled warmly down at him, and put him into my lap.

"Why?" He asked.

"I love you, do I need a reason?"

"You're a sadistical spirit from a sennen item, bent on the over-lordship of Earth, yeah, you do." Ryou folded his arms over his chest, and looked at me critically.

"Stop being a brat, do you want my affections, or not?"

"...Do they invole knives?"

"Not this time."

"Then, of course I do!" Ryou latched onto me, and kissed my cheek sweetly.

He was smiling, and laughing, and over-joyed. All I know is that if this makes him this happy, what can I do to make him even happier.

"No more knives, ever. I promise." I whispered.

He pulled back, and looked into my eyes, a smile playing curiously on his lips. "Are you serious?"

"Completely."

"You don't know how friggen happy you make me. I think I can die happy now." Ryou kissed me full on the lips, but pulled away. "One promise makes me the happiest dying teen in the world."

"Ryou, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying.... Goodbye." Ryou ran his fingertips across my cheek like an angels kiss.

"No, you aren't." I said stubbornly. "I'm not letting my angel go."

"Just know I always will love you, even from the otherside." Ryou's smile never left his lips, and for some reason, the fact that he was smiling about this made my eyes water up, and tears spill down my cheeks.

"Goddamnit Ryou, don't talk that way. I need you." I sobbed into his shoulder as he held me. "Don't leave me. I don't think I'd be able to wash my hair without you! You know how I love the way you shampoo it, and it gets all those fun, but annoying as hell bubbles. You know I'm crazy about you, right?"

"I do now." Ryou's smile was going to be the death of me.

Only because it was the first genuine one I'd ever seen him wear. I loved that smile. I never knew his smile was prettier than his tears. I never knew that his eyes were more lovable and desirable than his blood. I never knew, and now I'll never get the chance to see all the things I never saw before! I'll never get the chance to hold him in my arms, listening to him purr, and not making fun of his kitten-like qualities.

I'll never know what I could've had. I'll never know what could've been mine. That bothers me. The fact that I will NEVER KNOW! It hurts. It fuckin' hurts.

"I won't be able to open the door, or answer the phone. And I'll have to listen to that cute as hell answering machine message you have, that annoys me only 'cause it's so goddamned adorable." I sniffled.

Yes, I am weak, I freely admit I am weak when it comes to Ryou. I would beg the pharoah if it were for Ryou 's sake! Goddamnit! I'd just cut off my own head for this boy. This one little boy in which I would burn at the stake for, or be pulled into pieces by ravenous dogs.

"You haven't taught me the secret to making cereal! Or using the boxes of heat! Micro-vens!""Micro-waves and ovens." Ryou chuckled.

"See how much I need you?!" I pleaded with him.

"And how to I get the machine of ultimate doom to work?!"

"The piano?" Ryou laughed. "You play the death tunes perfectly!"

I played the death machine greatly, and Ryou even made me perform and I got paid a bunch of stuff. Sadly he said since I missed a phrase, no one died, but I am positive to this day I played it! The death machine, my favorite of them all. They were all so tortured, they were screaming, and banging there hands together. They must've been in so much pain!

Ryou.

"Please, I'll do anything. Absolutely anything. I've thrown out all the knives, and pointy objects! I've thrown out the beer and the cigarettes, and if you just come back to me, I'll show you how much I will change if you just stay with me. Goddamnit, I'd be Uke for the rest of my life! Ryou..." I pleaded into him. " I never knew so much, and now I'll never get to know."

"There is a world waiting to teach you." Ryou smiled.

"No. I will never know what it would be like to watch you wake up, purring in my arms, or let you paint my nails, or make you breakfast in bed with those flowers you like. I'll never get to hear you laugh, I'll never get to see you smile, and I'll never get the chance to love you like I should've." I sniffled. " I'm crying here because of you, and all you do is smile. I freaken need you, and you're so insistent on dying!"

" Take my body to the Pharoah, tell him I slit my wrists, and he will let you bring me back." Ryou sighed. " If you really want me."

I tackled Ryou in a hug, and he was out of breath for a moment, but laughed as I kissed his face repeatedly. He didn't stop for a few moments, until I caught his lips, and kissed him softly. He wanted to live, he wanted me to show him all I could do, he wanted to be cared for and loved, and I was damned proud and of knowing I could do it.


End file.
